This POTD will not be covering topics on gender, sexuality, identity, expression, etc, but I will be discussing anything and everything you have ever possibly thought about pronouns. My goal is to deepen your understanding and hopefully help y'all communicate accurately and respectfully with your friends, families, colleagues, and your patients!
"Proper use of gender identity terms, including pronouns, is a crucial way to signal courtesy and acceptance. Alex Schmider, associate director of transgender representation at GLAAD, compares using someone's correct pronouns to pronouncing their name correctly – "a way of respecting them and referring to them in a way that's consistent and true to who they are.""
Why is this important?
You can’t always know what someone’s pronouns are by looking at them. Asking and correctly using someone’s pronouns is one of the most basic ways to show your respect for their gender identity.
When someone is referred to with the wrong pronoun, it can make them feel disrespected, invalidated, dismissed, alienated, or dysphoric.
It is a privilege to not have to worry about which pronoun someone is going to use for you based on how they perceive your gender. If you have this privilege, yet fail to respect someone else’s gender identity, it is extremely disrespectful and hurtful.
For us in the medical field, we are able to create a safe environment and build rapport with our patients by using the correct pronouns!
What if I use the wrong pronouns?
It’s okay! Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best thing to do if you use the wrong pronoun for someone is to say something right away, like “Sorry, I meant (insert pronoun)”. If you realize your mistake after the fact, apologize in private and move on. No need to make it any more complicated than that. By doing that really simple gesture of apologizing quickly and moving on shows the other person that you care, which makes a really big difference.
How do I find out a person's pronouns?
Easy, start by giving them yours! Make it clear, straightforward, and casual — in the same way you’d share what region or city you live in.
Here's some examples:
"Hi, I'm Dr. De Guzman. My pronouns are she/her. I apologize for the long wait, what brought you to the hospital today?"
"HIIIIIIIII, I'm Cat. I'm from Queens, I love fried chicken sandwiches, and my pronouns are she/her. What about you?"
See, super easy!
How is "they" used as a singular pronoun?
"They" is already commonly used as a singular pronoun when we are talking about someone, and we don't know who they are. Using they/them pronouns for someone you do know simply represents a little bit of a switch.
An example:
Let's say you saw a member of the UST grab the U/S from south side, but you weren't quite sure who took it. Dr. Odashima comes by with the remaining UST members and asks if so and so has it. You'd most likely say:
"Oh yeah, they have the U/S." or "The U/S is with them."
In these cases, you're referring to one person with they/them pronouns. See, you've probably already been using "they" as a singular pronoun for your whole life without even realizing it!
What does it mean if a person uses the pronouns "he/they" or "she/they"?
"That means that the person uses both pronouns, and you can alternate between those when referring to them. So either pronoun would be fine — and ideally mix it up, use both. It just means that they use both pronouns that they're listing," says Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, deputy executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality.
The best approach I've read is to just listen to how people refer to themselves or even simpler, just ask!
References:
https://www.npr.org/2021/06/02/996319297/gender-identity-pronouns-expression-guide-lgbtq
https://hbr.org/2021/06/my-pronouns-are-she-they-what-are-yours
https://uwm.edu/lgbtrc/support/gender-pronouns/
